THE PARTY FAVORS AND candles have been put away and the cake is long gone, but Ernie Hess is back in his usual place in the pew beside his wife, Trudy, at the only church they have known since they wed in 1968: St. Philip Benizi.
ERNIE AND TRUDY HESS HAVE BEEN PARTICULARLY ACTIVE IN THE ENRICHMENT PROGRAM WORLDWIDE MARRIAGE ENCOUNTER FOR MANY YEARS. PHOTOS BY STEVE GEORGES/DIOCESE OF ORANGE
They sit near the back of the Fullerton church beneath a speaker, the better to hear the word of God that remains at the center of their relationship – one that continues to strengthen even as their hearing and vision have weakened.
Scores of loved ones, parishioners and priests came to the Hess home on July 22 to celebrate Ernie’s 100th birthday and to honor the couple that has given back so much through various ministries, and particularly the enrichment program Worldwide Marriage Encounter.
“I’m still a little baffled about why there is so much merit in being 100 years old,” Ernie said a couple of weeks before his birthday, ignoring the plate of pastries on his living room coffee table.
“Oh, your ego is eating it up,” said Trudy, who at 93 isn’t too far behind her husband.
“I appreciate the honor,” Ernie added, “but the thing about it that needs to be understood is I wouldn’t be where I am without her.”
TRUDY AND ERNIE HESS HAVE REMAINED ACTIVE AT ST. PHILIP BENIZI CATHOLIC CHURCH FOR SEVERAL DECADES. PHOTOS BY STEVE GEORGES/DIOCESE OF ORANGE
A LIFE-CHANGING WEEKEND
Ernie was a former Protestant minister who had drifted away from Christian fundamentalism when he met Trudy when both were single parents.
“I can’t say I lost my faith,” Ernie said. “I just backed away from it.”
Ernie, who as a toddler came to Southern California with his family from Newton, a small town in Kansas, bonded with L.A.-native Trudy, who was raised a Catholic, after meeting her through mutual friends.
They shared a love of camping, among other things.
“I thought he was really cute,” Trudy recalled.
Quipped Ernie: “She chased me until I caught her.”
The couple had been married for nine years when, in 1977, they attended a Marriage Encounter weekend that Ernie called “cataclysmic,” adding: “I felt like I was almost floating.”
Two years later, he became a Catholic.
ACTIVE IN CHURCH
From initially running a goldfish booth at a church fiesta together, Ernie and Trudy evolved into one of the most active couples at St. Philip Benizi. They eventually served as
Extraordinary Ministers of Communion, lectors, parish council members, small group leaders in Bible Study and as members on the parish Baptism team.
They also became a Marriage Encounter presenting team for engaged couples in the Marriage in the Lord program for the Diocese of Orange.
“Marriage Encounter gives you tools to communicate and how to accept the feelings of the other person,” Ernie explained.
The Hesses also got involved with a club at Cal State Fullerton that held several mountain weekend retreats for college students. They became a team couple for Retrouvaille,
which provides weekend retreats for couples with troubled marriages, as well as for To Trust Again, a program for couples in second marriages.
Ernie, who was a mechanical engineering most of his career, even became a secular Servite at St. Philip Benizi, which is staffed by the Servants of Mary.
IMPORTANCE OF COMMUNITY
Trudy and Ernie agree that remaining so active at St. Philip Benizi for several decades has been critical to keeping their union solid.
“There’s just something about sharing your faith that challenges us, and we wouldn’t be as good of Catholics as we are today,” Trudy said.
Added Ernie: “The people in our church have been our nucleus.”
Shirl Giacomi, who served as chancellor of the Diocese of Orange for 15 years, met Ernie and Trudy through their Marriage Encounter leadership.
“Ernie and Trudy are nourished at the table at St. Philip Benizi and have shared themselves throughout the years as true disciples,” said Giacomi, director of faith
formation at Our Lady of Refuge Catholic Church in Long Beach. “They were willing to extend themselves and minister wherever they were needed.”
Fr. Dennis Kriz, pastor of St. Philip Benizi, first met Ernie and Trudy when he was in the novitiate for the Servants of Mary.
“I knew then that they were a special couple,” Fr. Dennis said. “They are highly respected and pillars of the community.”
Of course, Ernie’s and Trudy’s life together has not been without struggles and heartache. They lost one of their three sons at age 42.
Faith, the couple say, got them through the tragedy.
‘GET A GOOD WIFE’
As for living to 100, Ernie said he’s never had an exercise regimen.
He tried smoking once but hated the taste and tossed away the cigarette after a couple of puffs. He said he ate organic food growing up but said he’s never been on a diet.
“Get a good wife,” Ernie replied when asked about tips to living to 100. He added: “This woman is a motivator.”
Usually after Sunday Mass, Ernie and Trudy will sit in their favorite living room chairs to watch Catholic programs on TV and discuss their faith.
“Our shared faith is what is so special for us now,” Trudy said.
So is their family, which includes three grandchildren and seven great-grandchildren.
St. Philip Benizi parishioner Teresa Cota, who met Ernie and Trudy in 2005, baked the cake for Ernie’s 100th birthday party.
The nearly 100 guests also enjoyed drinks, fried chicken, potato salad and fruit.
The theme of the party?
Trudy smiled and said: “Come and listen to Ernie.”