WHEN I WAS A young, unmarried adult, I faithfully attended Sunday Mass every week and spent every single minute of it beating myself up for getting distracted.
Today, I’m attending Sunday Mass with my husband and four young kids. Every other minute, someone is asking me a question, nearly damaging a hymnal, bouncing on the kneeler or crying to be carried. In short, I have more reasons to be distracted during Mass than I ever did when I was single. I spend a smaller percentage of every Mass actively listening to Father or talking to Jesus then I ever used to. And yet, I feel none of that guilt that used to plague me over my distractions.
Spirituality changes in every season of life, and perhaps nothing illustrates that more clearly than the season of motherhood. Whenever I crave the prayer routines I see from influencers, or worry I’m not growing fast enough in my faith journey, I try to remind myself of this: Motherhood is like a prolonged retreat, and God is working on my soul while I’m not even looking.
Throughout my day as a homeschooling mom, I certainly don’t have the time set aside for regular meditation or scripture-reading. If Ido sit down with my Bible, I’m likely to be called away to wipe someone’s bottom within a few minutes.
However, if I’m able to quiet my heart enough to hear the invitation, there are so many opportunities to turn those diaper changes into a prayer. Every act of work done to the best of my ability, in love, is the way to “pray without ceasing” like St. Paul calls us to (1 Thessalonians 5:17).
I never have to go out of my way to find Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy in my day to day life. I’m instructing the ignorant and comforting the sorrowful between feeding the hungry and clothing the naked. And I have endless opportunities to die to myself that I never had when I lived by myself.
Every day, when I struggle between my children’s stubborn will and my even more stubborn one, I’m confronted with my own brokenness and shortcomings. I can’t even pretend to accomplish everything by my own power. I need to lean on God in prayer. It’s humbling and freeing all at the same time.
In short, life with young children is filled with constant struggles and temptations to selfishness and sin. But seen through the eyes of faith, these are all opportunities to confront my imperfections and grow in virtue. If I want to be a better mom, which I do, I’ll have no way forward but to become a saint at the same time.
I know I was called to this vocation, and lately, I’ve been graced with the ability to see why. The most important work I’ve been called to is the work of loving and teaching my children. This will be the work I’ll be deep in for the next couple of decades and just knowing that I’ll have no choice but to do God’s will that whole time gives me such peace.
The world is out here telling mothers that losing themselves in their identity as a parent is a tragedy, but through the eyes of faith, I’ve come to see how freeing it can be to let go of who I used to be in favor of who God is calling me to be. Never let Satan convince you of the lie that you are doomed to spiritual stagnation in this season of your life. Instead, thank God for your vocation every day.
Happy Mothers’ Day!