“WHERE’S JESUS?”
This was the question of the followers of Jesus after reports of the empty tomb began to circulate in Jerusalem. For Christians living in the light of the Resurrection, we proclaim that Jesus is alive and has not abandoned us. Yet we, too, ask this question when the search for Christ’s presence torments our minds and reveals an ache in our hearts. Although our faith assures us that He is risen and remains with us, we still experience what St. Ignatius of Loyola called “spiritual desolation.” St. Ignatius described this state as when the soul becomes “all lazy, tepid and sad,” and “feels far from one’s Creator and Lord.”
As the Church invites us to reflect on the Resurrection appearances of Jesus to His followers during this Easter season, we can receive guidance on how to respond in spiritual desolation. The first witnesses of the Resurrection teach us that Christ is united to us in every form of suffering, including our interior struggles. Even when His presence is not felt, He remains with His disciples. Their encounters with the Risen Lord reveal how God draws near in our confusion and doubt. In light of this, we can grow in faithfulness as His disciples by putting into practice the rules of discernment of St. Ignatius of Loyola.
The first recorded witness of the Resurrection in the Gospel of John was Mary Magdalene. Peter and John, upon finding no sign of Jesus in the tomb, returned to their homes (cf. Jn. 20:10). Mary Magdalene remained where she expected to find Jesus, even in her distress over His absence.
St. Ignatius of Loyola advises us that when we experience spiritual desolation, we are to remain steadfast in our resolve and faithful to our spiritual practices, such as daily prayer, while rejecting the Enemy’s lies and resisting the temptations desolation stirs up. In moments of spiritual desolation, we are invited to cry out to the Lord instead of turning in on ourselves or seeking to console ourselves with “passing things.” Spiritual consolation and authentic peace cannot be received apart from Jesus.
In times of God’s felt absence and spiritual desolation, we are to remain present before Him, offering the Lord our faith and the gift of our presence. Such fidelity allows this experience to purify our love for God, teaching us not to seek His gifts but God Himself. Mary Magdalene lives this out before us in the Gospel. At first, immersed in her sorrow, she does not recognize Jesus. Yet, she remains engaged in her desire to be united with her Lord, and her perseverance bears fruit. Her interior availability allows her to encounter Jesus in a deeper way as He speaks her name and calls her into the reality that He is before her and has been so all along.
The experience of the disciples on the road to Emmaus also reveals how the Risen Lord accompanies His followers through moments of discouragement. As they walk along, disoriented by their grief and bafflement, Jesus draws near and is not deterred by their failure to recognize Him. Instead, Jesus invites them to relate their hearts to Him with the simple invitation, “What sort of things?” (Lk. 24:19).
The disciples respond to this invitation by entering into dialogue with the Lord. They pour out their hearts, revealing their thoughts, feelings and desires, and become disposed to receiving the Lord’s direction. These Resurrection encounters remind us that spiritual desolation is a reality that even the best of Jesus’ followers experience. However, they also show us that the Lord is with us, even when we do not experience His presence or consolation. The fidelity of Mary Magdalene and the honesty of the disciples on the road to Emmaus guide us by staying with their desire for Jesus, even as they grieved the apparent loss of His presence. Their witness gives us the courage to trust that the Lord will reveal Himself in His time.
The experience of “Where’s Jesus?” is an invitation to surrender our self-reliance with humility and faith, so that when the risen Lord speaks our name and opens the Scriptures to us, we are ready to receive the gifts He has won for us.