Feature

‘LOVE, YOUR VALENTINE’

IT’S ALMOST FEB. 14, BUT WHO WAS ST. VALENTINE — AND WHAT SHOULD THE DAY MEAN FOR CATHOLICS?

By GREG HARDESTY     2/4/2025

AS THE DELUGE OF purchases for chocolate, flowers, jewelry and other gifts reaches peak torrential levels ahead of Valentine’s Day, Catholics may wonder: How did Feb. 14 become a cash cow for Hallmark and other retailers? And should Cupid’s arrow cut deeper than romantic love? And who was St. Valentine, anyway?

PHOTO BY LAURA OCKEL ON UNSPLASH

All good questions whose answers have been well documented by historians and religious scholars, although debate and myth still surround the life of this saint who lived more than 1,700 years ago.

A GRUESOME DEATH
Scholars appear to settle on the existence of three Valentines (a common name, along with Valentina, in the third century) who were saints and martyrs: Valentine of Rome, Valentine of Interamna (modern-day Terni, Italy), and the lesser-known Valentine of Africa (from modern-day Tunisia or Algeria), as explained in a post on walksofitaly.com, a travel website.

Both Valentine of Rome and Terni preached in the third century and were martyred on Feb. 14, 269 A.D., under Emperor Claudius II during a period of widespread persecution in Rome before Christianity was legalized in the 300s A.D. Claudius II thought married men made bad soldiers and thus made marriage and engagements illegal in Rome to sway male soldiers to stay in the army and fight his wars, according to an article on history.com and other sources.

The Roman priest Valentine, whom several historical sources appear to settle on as being the St. Valentine whose life inspired the Feb. 14 commemoration, married many couples in secret.

When Claudius II discovered this, he sentenced Valentine, who also was a physician, to a gruesome execution of beating, stoning and beheading – a reality that is about far away as one can get, thematically, from the typically treacly musings on modern-day Valentine’s Day cards.

As for those cards?

Valentine, while awaiting his brutal demise, supposedly wrote a letter in prison signed, “From your Valentine” – the inspiration, according to many historians, for the Feb. 14 tradition of lovers sending each other cards and signing them with the same moniker.

ROSES ARE RED
St. Valentine has since become a patron saint of love, beekeepers, epileptics, greeters and engaged couples – among others. In the 400s A.D., Pope Gelasius I, the bishop of Rome from March 1, 492 to his death on Nov. 19, 496, declared Feb. 14 the day to commemorate St. Valentine.

That day, however, wasn’t associated with romantic love until the 14th century, when Geoffrey Chaucer, the English poet, author, and civil servant best known for “The Canterbury Tales,” first alluded to Valentine’s Day traditions in his poem, “Parlement of Foules,” which touches on the theme of courtly love through the interactions of lovebirds in early spring.

The custom of lovers exchanging gifts on Feb. 14 flourished in 18th century England and by the 1800s, mass-produced Valentine’s Day cards were being exchanged in the United States.

Today, several countries celebrate Valentine’s Day — some in different ways.

For example, in Japan, women give men chocolates on Feb. 14, and a month later, on March 14 — known as White Day — men return the favor with sweets and, typically, more expensive gifts. South Korean singles fete a third Valentine’s Day on April 14 in by gathering and eating ceremonial food.

A DEEPER MEANING
So, what does all of this have to do with Catholicism?

“Alike Christmas, the true meaning behind the celebration can be lost in the saturation of the secular demand,” said Fr. Brandon Dang, administrator of Corpus Christi Catholic Church in Aliso Viejo. “Now, this is not to say that Catholics do not or should not celebrate these holidays with their popularity, but we should do so without forgetting the deep meaning behind it all.”

Although exchanging sweets, flowers, gifts, and cards with loved ones is a fun and time-honored tradition, Feb. 14 should be a reminder for Catholics to reflect deeper on the legacy of St. Valentine, according to the Franciscan Foundation for the Holy Land and other religious sources.

St. Valentine should be remembered for his remarkable compassion and love.

“Picture him as a compassionate helper, extending kindness to everyone, regardless of their background or beliefs,” the Franciscan Foundation for the Holy Land wrote in an article. “In an era marked by mistreatment based on one’s beliefs, St. Valentine courageously stood up for love and faith.”

Valentine’s Day is a moment to honor someone who loved others so profoundly that he sacrificed everything.

“His story serves as a powerful lesson, encouraging us to be kind, loving and steadfast in standing up for our beliefs, no matter how daunting the circumstances,” the article continued.

WHAT OUR CATHOLIC FAITH TEACHES US ABOUT LOVE
Joan Patten, AO, delegate for Consecrated Life in the Diocese of Orange, has this to say about love and the Catholic faith:

“Our Catholic faith teaches us that true love requires sacrifice. The greatest icon of sacrificial love is Jesus, Our Bridegroom, who pours Himself out freely in love for us on the cross. When we gaze upon the crucifix, we understand that true love calls us to give ourselves completely to our beloved and hold nothing back. Our faithfulness to our vows, promises and friendships is the gift we give every day and is expressed by our abiding presence regardless of the circumstances. While we may attempt to express our love with material goods such as flowers and gifts, we can also give in to the preferences of our loved ones, giving our attention to their desires and surrendering our will to their choices.”

She added, “Instead of measuring our relationships by materialistic expressions endorsed by our modern culture, consider the gifts of forgiveness, a listening presence and the luxury of time freely offered with full delight and attention. While we may prefer to use hearts to symbolize love instead of a cross on Valentine’s Day, we know that the love Jesus offers and models to us is what we truly desire. May His sacrificial love awaken our hearts to respond with generosity, freedom and joy. “

So, as we celebrate Valentine’s Day this year, perhaps we can see beyond the cupids and candy hearts and look a bit deeper. Let us try to incorporate expressing our love in more altruistic ways such as acts of kindness and selfless giving.