“A STEP OR TWO BEFORE the place where I am to contemplate or meditate, I will stand for the space of an Our Father and, with my consciousness raised on high, consider how the Lord my God looks upon me.”
This instruction is how St. Ignatius of Loyola began his prayers and guided others with his spiritual exercises. His brilliant advice from the 16th century is even more essential for us now in our modern times.
A brief consideration of history can trace our modern regression of excessive self-contemplation and selfish behavior as early as the 1960s. This era sanctioned “self-fulfillment” over moral obligations and service to others. Psychological entitlement, self-help books and overuse of technology and social media are consequences of this self-absorbed reality that our culture continues to esteem. As a result, we have never witnessed so many depressed, anxious and lonely people or experienced this in such a way ourselves until these modern times.
Society also tells us that belief in God and religious practices, such as worship and following the Ten Commandments, are private matters and should be kept to one’s self. This current alienation from God and from others forces us to turn inward for answers. We were made to be seen, known and loved, and we need others to come to know ourselves. Jesus knows us because He is facing us.
During a retreat I attended years ago, a priest shared: “In the 1970s and 1980s, there was a common saying, ‘Jesus loves us just the way we are.’ But they put a period at the end of the phrase instead of a comma. The reality is Jesus loves us just the way we are, but He doesn’t want to leave us there because we are meant to see Him face-to-face; where He is and where I am now won’t cut it! In Heaven, we will see as we are seen.”
Notice that St. Ignatius does not direct us to consider that God looks upon us but how He looks upon us. God’s gaze is, and we personally experience His love, His call to conversion and discipleship by noticing the interior movements of our hearts. Thoughts, feelings and desires that directly impact our relationship with God and help us understand “where we are” and how God is inviting us to respond.
At times, we may feel the warmth of God’s love, our hearts lifting with joy under His gaze and we respond by returning the gaze with generosity and freedom. Yet, there are also moments when the thought of God looking at us makes us feel uncomfortable, afraid or ashamed. In these moments, we are invited to share whatever “comes up” in our hearts and bring these needs into a relationship with God. Our lives find their true meaning when we look at Jesus, who is always looking at us. While we are always in God’s presence, He eagerly awaits our response and desires us to return His gaze as we receive the gift of Himself. One of the most transformative decisions we can make in this life, one that liberates us from self-absorption, is this: will I allow Jesus to look at me? What stirs in my heart when I do?
The Real Presence of the Eucharist draws us out of ourselves. Mass and Eucharistic adoration are not self absorbing activities. Instead, these are moments in which the Lord comes to us, and we are invited to choose between being fully present and just being there. In the Mass, we not only look at Jesus, we receive Him, and He goes where we can’t, into all the areas of our life where we are tempted to be self absorbed or seek meaning apart from God. Cultivate the desire to be seen by the Lord and let Him draw you to Himself. Everything is revealed in the loving gaze of God.