GROWING UP IN A CATHOLIC family just outside of Baltimore, I always dreamed of having a big family of my own.
My husband and I were married at Our Lady Queen of Angels in Newport Beach on July 1, 2017, and we couldn’t wait to begin our life together. By 2021, we felt called to grow our family.
In June 2023, we welcomed our son Robert Joseph into the world, and our hearts overflowed with joy. By the end of 2024, we found out I was pregnant again—and this time, we were having a girl. We were thrilled! But only a short time later, I began bleeding. At the midwife’s office, I was told I was miscarrying.
My heart shattered. How could this be happening? Could I have stopped it?
On Sunday, Nov. 24, 2024, our sweet daughter, Lily Therese, gained her angel wings and went home to be with Jesus. Sharing the news with family and friends was painful, but their support helped carry us through. One friend encouraged us to name our daughter and even celebrate her life through a funeral Mass if we felt called. Naming her was a turning point in my grief—Lily was no longer just a loss but my daughter, whose life, however brief, mattered deeply.
Though our parish did not offer funeral Masses for the unborn, we continued searching and were eventually connected with Fr. Greg Walgenbach, who will help us honor Lily this fall.
The weeks after our loss were some of the darkest of my life. I felt both devastated and strangely closer to God, comforted by the thought that He holds Lily in His hands. With time off from work, the love of my husband and the help of therapy, the Maternal Mental Health Hotline and virtual support groups, I began to heal— slowly, painfully, but with hope. Gradually, light returned. A few months later, we learned I was pregnant again—with another baby girl, due later this fall. This pregnancy has been a blessing, though not without its complexities.
Pregnancy after loss is filled with both joy and grief, a constant balancing act of hope and fear. I’ve learned that it is possible to hold both sorrow and gratitude at once when surrounded by faith and support. I share Lily’s story because she is part of me, part of my family and always will be. Thank you for reading, and I hope you will join us at the Perinatal & Infant Loss Mass on Friday, Sept. 12, as we remember Lily and all the little ones gone too soon.
Maria is a parishioner of Mission Basilica in San Juan Capistrano