Many traditionally turn to their faith to help them grieve, but scores of Catholics who died by suicide weren’t permitted burial on hallowed ground until after the Second Vatican Council in 1962. Prior to then, the Church viewed their actions as a sin rather than the result of trauma, mental health conditions or any number of possible circumstances.
DR. MARGERY ARNOLD AND FRANCIS BADE OF ST. JOHN NEUMANN CATHOLIC CHURCH’S MENTAL HEALTH MINISTRY POSE FOR A PHOTO AT THE PARISH ON FRIDAY, AUG. 18. PHOTO BY ERIC LICAS/DIOCESE OF ORANGE
“That thought is still in a lot people’s minds,” said Francis Bade, chair of Mental Health Ministry at St. John Neumann Catholic Church in Irvine.
The Church’s understanding of suicide has developed over the last 60 years, and that one had committed suicide would not in itself disqualify that person from having funeral rites. But there are still Catholics who continue to perceive a stigma around it and mental health issues, Bade said.
Meanwhile, the rate of suicide in the United States has risen by about 38% over the past two decades, according to the CDC. There were 48,183 cases of suicide nationwide in 2021, accounting for an average of about one death every 11 minutes. Additionally, an estimated 1.7 million Americans had attempted suicide that year and as many 12.3 million had seriously considered it.
That’s why St. John Neumann will be hosting its second annual Suicide Remembrance Mass in September, which is recognized nationally as suicide prevention month. The gathering on Saturday, Sept.16 begins at 10 a.m.
It is open to all who might wish to attend, especially people whose loved ones have taken their own lives, or those who might be considering doing so themselves.
Bishop Timothy Freyer will preside of the Mass, and representatives of a variety of support groups will be in attendance.
They and members of St. John’s mental health ministry will be on hand afterward to either connect people with potentially helpful resources, or just to chat.
“It’s a Mass,” said Dr. Margery Arnold of St. John’s mental health ministry. “And afterwards there will be coffee and pastries, just like you’d expect.”
She was the one who first suggested hosting a special Mass at St. John Neumann in memory of those who have died by suicide and got the idea from similar services held in California and nationwide. She and Bade hoped it might “provide a space for people to talk about suicide and know that they can do that in the church,” Arnold said. “People appreciate the opportunity to talk about mental health in the context of their faith because faith is so important to recovery,” the psychologist said. “But often we don’t really have a space for that. And with suicide, there are a lot of misconceptions with what the Church teaches.”
The first Suicide Remembrance Mass St John Neumann held in 2022 was, admittedly, hastily assembled and sparsely attended, Arnold and Bade said. However, it still became a safe space for some attendees to share memories of their loved ones or discuss topics that might have been difficult to bring up otherwise.
“They walked away with the feeling that they were welcome to talk about it,” Bade said. “That’s the big thing. It allowed them to feel good about attending, that their loved ones were being remembered.”
Arnold and Bade said they had no idea that some of those who opened up to them after last year’s remembrance Mass had been affected by suicide, even though they had known them for years. But afterward, they felt more comfortable talking about their loved ones with members of their church, helping to keep their late relatives’ memories alive.
But attendees don’t have to share anything at all to achieve some form of relief, Arnold said. The ritual off Mass offers Catholics a familiar routine that can help ground them during periods of uncertainty or chaos.
“It can be very calming,” Arnold said. “You know what’s coming. And also, just having the Eucharist there, any time you have a Mass, and the Eucharist is present that’s a healing Mass.”
The Remembrance Mass is just one of several efforts St. John Neuman is taking to shine a light on mental health issues during suicide prevention month. On Sept. 27, the church will partner with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention to host Talk Saves Lives: A Brief introduction to suicide prevention.
Speakers at that seminar will share the most up-to-date research on suicide prevention and discuss common warning signs. They will also go over strategies to help support people at risk of self-harm.
Arnold and other mental health professionals say fostering safe spaces and relationships can be extremely effective in preventing people from acting on thoughts of suicide. But every case is different, and oftentimes larger external circumstances, complicated mental health issues or trauma may be involved.
That’s why it’s important to seek guidance from experts.
“Even though there may not be a way to cure a lot of these things, there can be healing,” Arnold said.
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. You can also call the 24/7 New Hope Crisis Counseling Hotline: 714-NEW-HOPE (714.639.4673). New Hope is a program of Catholic Charities.